My Word! Take note

Absolute must knows for sensible typewriting

Changing a BIT?

Importantly imperative computing hot how to(delo)’s, if you really love your pc

Alternative solutions proposed most sincerely to common online problems

• To open a new document, use a standard letter opener available at most stationery retailers.
• To put and end to a line of text, press your space bar until the shuttle takes off.
• Saving a document’s more important than saving in a bank, isn’t it?
• Data should be saved as an alternative to cash.
• If you don’t save enough documents you may not have enough for when you retire one day.
• Not saving documents can drive up interest rates, blood pressure & the likes.
• Listening to the clicking of the mouse means either your mouse’s squeeky or a little horse, or should that be hoarse?
• To close a document, unclothe.
• To exit, follow the exit sign.
• To open a window, make sure the burglar guards are on first, if not, secure first.
• Before closing a window, enter through the door.
• To exercise, recite Blog had a little Log.
• Realise the advantages of the shortcut menu by not intentionally taking the long route home.
• Know the best way of giving a command’s b’in firm.
• To establish what a button does, sew it; just sew you know.
• Call blogomaniacs 24-hour helpline@10810 or if that e-mail address does not work you’ll be well advised to try the phone instead.
• Just try & click but & watch what happens (to be used with discression, mind you).
• Outstare@IMonbut, until you configured out what it misrepresents
• Go on, go ask NotoriousNotreNote. Do it now.
• Use a shortcut key if your locksmith did you in.
• But remember to open a bank account before saving your document.
• Press control B to blog ’bout a log.
• Press control C to add to blog catalog.
• Press ALT C to catch a cat.
• Press ALT B to go bananas.
• Also, by pressing ALT F, you open your very own alternative franchise.
• To open a shortcut menu, consult your barber.
• To close a shortcut visit a reputable hairdresser.
• Your mouse’s resilience can be tested by dragging rather than dropping.
• Access shortcut by dropping egg on face.
• For menu shortcut drop cutlery & say, shut up in your face.
• Teach your mouse to gobble up red&green worms.
• Justify tempting right alignment.
• When completing a dialog box seal with tape.
• Backspace by adjusting your chair’s backsupport.
• Choose a radio button & plug in aerial.
• Click TAB and enjoy drinking a refreshing cooler.
• To select text – drag up mouse even if your mouse protests ’bout it.
• Use cut button, but honey bear in mind that this renders the button unusable on your shirt.
• Using cut button shows shirt buttons as definite reject.
• The cut button should never be too blunt.
• Coupons can be saved and redeemed for a coupe.
• Clipboards look nice in your living room.
• Buttons can come in handy & should not be used.
• Don’t trade your clipboard, just say, no thanks, not even for a clip – I won’t go onboard & don’t go overboard: buttons are illegal & I’m getting the Internet drag squad for you right away, k.
• Don’t be a drag by dragging your text. No, I told you I’m straight, but if you want to be a drag or if you’re into drag and think I’m an old hag, be my guest.
• I care ’bout my car too much to do drag racing with it, so if you’ll kindly excuse me.
• Grab the text by the split hair & drag, mind you don’t end up crossing the fine line, for if you do, you may double cross & end up with an arrow.
• Select text, click cut & hope the scissors are not blunt.
• Use an eraser to delete text, didn’t they teach you that in Grade 1?
• If you don’t want to, don’t delete. Personally, I’d never. U must B joking, what U think I typed it 4 in the 1rst place, man (or ma’am?)
• Location’s all important. Know where to take a stroll with your scroll.
• Also scroll’s mom said never give out your location on line & that’s all fatso now take a load of that & buzz off.
• The scroll bar is reminiscent of ancient hieroglyphics and is being retained in new technology in incorporating scrolls onto virtual papirus.
• If you honestly want to know where the scroll bar is, it’s right above the all night bar, just a block away from the space bar.
• Be justified in stating your state even if it’s just one word, ’cause it’s far too liberated to be left.
• To pass your computer, click all of the above.
• To bypass your computer, click none of the above.
• To pass surpass just stroll casually past it.
• There: you passed! See: that wasn’t so difficult, now was it?
• You can tell which page you’re on by asking the bridesmaid.
• Multiply your pick up lines before dividing your keys to dates.
• Stop asking for directions&ask for directories, aren’t you a director, after all?
• Move to the top of a document by escalator.
• Move to top of scroll bar with the stairs.
• Move to top, but stop the lift, swift so as not to cause a rift, a tift, but do sift for great cookies.
• Save&be safe: Exclaim PeadeoFile & slap that Explorer.
• Down a couple doubles in the vertical scroll Bar & just ignore your mouse if it points that out.
• Know who else wood use shortcut keys, but Robin Hood.
• If you indulge too much at the scroll bar you may consider giving the shortcut keys in and don’t be tempted to browse the menu again for a while. Yes, you’re barred.
• Depending on who’s pressing your keys, honey,, you can come online, you know it.
• The shortcut keys are better outsmarted by Houdini, but are notorious when it comes to cheating by taking shortcuts & races.
• The scroll bars should not be avoided altogether, even if you are inclined to be a teetotaller, becuse they are non-alcoholic & offer a wide selection of cocktails, you know.
• Know what’s IT to you, I know it’s IT to me! mmm, good looking cooking, so hot, glad to have you back.
• If you’re still experiencing difficulty, ask a grown down to help you.
• You can alway press ESC indefinitely or type with your elbow.
• If all else fails, consult help buttons from New Jersey’s bloggers’ anonymous worn & forlorn stuff.
• Technically help’s available online by sneaking in an hour at your local library or spending the remainder of your days chatting up gals and guys on various obscure social networking sites.
• You may find if you attempt escape, you get a sure slap in the face. If you hurry, you can pass go if you’re shifty and running up the tab.
• If you’ve read this blog so far & have a sore back & eyestrain, you always have the pause break option.
• To get info about a dialog box consult a furniture removal company and ask the friendly staff if they have a few boxes spare.
• Read the manual about typing manually annually.
• Fret ’bout not being able to take stamps off e-mails to add to your dwindling stamp collection.
• Choose options all you like and just see what’ll happen when you get home.
• If this blog’s confusing you so, do not ask the guy at the next computer, just in case.
• If you’re adamant about changing the case, sorry, it is not advisable, as you should not contradict what you said previously with regards to this case in a court of law.
• Y should you save disk every so often when you’re not gaining interest? For the sheer fit of it.
• If you are still awake then open document by utilising door handle else tear cover or recover.
• Aerial can be utilised effectively to tune into whose signing in invisibly as an affront to united font.
• It’s easy to tell what’s a button on a toolbar by brushing up on your home economics in this housewife-friendly blog – now please, who’s been doing lapdancing this time, just asking, as you did mention a button on the toolbar, not so? – in an ostensibly exasperated fahion, that is.
• Stop telling your mouse not to point and see what happens if you stare at the little rodent long enough to intimidate it, though you would not date it as it’s against the company policy to outdate, that’s supposed to be proposed to be mean.
• Do not select text as it’s simply not fair. Rather deselect.
• Dragging your mouse to the office for some one-on-one adult basic education and training is highly recommended. Yeah, write!
• If you accidentally delete text, you can get it back by picketing & protesting protexting.
• If you purposely delete text, try launching a strike & swearing until you hit control.
• Type Y to remind Y U R here.
• Type I to remind who wryped this blog.
• Type U to wremind who’s wiping this blog.
• Type O if you get it. Type X if you got it.
• Type ALT I if you’re an aspiring sailor.
• Dont’ worry about the keyboard, m’Lord, but I do beg your pardon, are you a man or a mouse?
• Watch out for latest soapy, the Bold & the Italics.
• If your keyboard does not make a loud sound when you bang on it, strum a guitar.
• Underlining bold gets upset, ’cause it’s just not fair that others should have more hair, so do not attempt shortcut to bold, whatever you do.
• Shift B reminds of universal truth to B or not to b. B bold, c cold, t told, sc scold, h hold, U can also change case unless it was premiditated, well, then that’s another case altogether.
• If you don’t like IT plain and use boldface, you’re mean: yeah, shut up in your face or just try underlining: no, bad manners, won’t B undermined, blah, blah, bull dung, who sung well hung. I say look at the text, go on, look at IT. If that’s still unreadable, remove the apostrophe.
• Check your personal organiser when you last came online, just asking, I need to know these things if you’re reading my blog. Actually, I’m amazed that you read thus far, but if I’m too amazed, could you show me home? Or take me to the referencedesk@sotfnetfurnishingslibrary  - but no, don’t use that library’s e-mail address@facevalue , ’cause it’s too similar to facebook’sphasebook & could’ve legal repercussions what with Xgoogle& microsoftboxstaff having joined in the fun, though I get my jollies elsewhere too where I can impress my friends with a bit of html graphics in my messages.
• Now to get back to examples of subscript text: fascists, nope; how ’bout a stitch in time saves none to nine, even if IT kills you – also not? So what if IT’s substandard? I got IT for a discount at the local pawnshop having ostensibly impressed them with chemical equivalent for water when saying hoho, i.e. HO twice, lacking subscript, although DAY did think Christmas came yearly.

• A superscripted letter is one that is raised by being tosses overboard, almost like a message in a bottle, but in terms of reference has been lost in the mail. Hey, it was fanmail from a secret admirer.

Tags: alternative solutions, how to, must knows, online problems, sensible typewriting